Did You Realize It? The English ver
by yakumo.hikyou
Summary: Sometime, our hope never granted like we wish from it. The truth has its own answer. 6918.
1. 1st shard: My Existence?

Pairing: 6918, slight 6927

Rate: T

Warning: AU, confusing idea(maybe), flash back, OOC

Note: This fic is the English version of my Indonesian fic, but I have improve some. The timeline is TYL. Sorry for the grammar m(_ _)m Ah! For TehSpookyWaffle, I really thanks for your great help! XD

Disclaimer: KHR and its characters belongs to Amano Akira, so it's not mine!

* * *

**Did You Realize It?**

1st Shard: My Existence?

-Even if I wish to seek for you hand, your voice and your vestige-

* * *

"Can I go now?"

"Bu-but, Kyouya…"

The blue haired man couldn't restrain the man in front of him any longer. He was becoming irritated with Mukuro's actions that were trying to force him to speak. Mukuro didn't have any choice; he let Hibari go and walked away from him. The illusionist sighed, feeling disappointed. Leaning against the wall behind him, he stared at the sky before covering his view with a gloved hand.

"Why….? Why must this happen…?"

* * *

"Ne, thanks for accompanying me today, Mukuro!" Tsuna said with happy tone. There was no doubt about what the reason was that made him feel so happy.

"Yeah, wherever you want to go, Tsuna," Mukuro answered lightly.

"It's strange…."

"What?"

"Are you thinking of something?"

Mukuro stopped his steps. Tsuna stopped too, and watched Mukuro with an upset face.

"Am I wrong?" Tsuna asked, feeling nervous while he watched Mukuro's reaction.

"No, I'm fine," Mukuro formed his usual smirk, "continue our walk."

Tsuna still watched the man while both of them were walking, and sighed silently. Maybe, inviting Mukuro to visit that place was a bad idea. It was Namimori Junior High School. And the Vongola Decimo quickly realized his deed.

"I have to say if I'm fine, right?" Mukuro's voice succeeded to voice Tsuna's thoughts.

"Umm… If you say so..." Tsuna answered while smiling sheepishly.

Hibari Kyouya. Cloud Guardian of the Tenth Generation Vongola Boss. Ex-Leader of Namimori Junior's Disciplinary Committee. He was a well known man because of his power; the past and present were not different. He had been lost since a month ago and there were no clues about where he had gone. The only things they could find in his house were just the pair of tonfas that he always carried, A Cloud Box, and his little yellow pet -called Hibird later-, who was mute. Tsuna and the rest of the Guardians –this includes Mukuro- and the other Vongola Famiglia's members tried hard to find him. The result was nothing. Strange. Too strange.

"Kyouya is gone," Mukuro said, "It's not your fault."

"I know," Tsuna nodded, "but…I felt rather strange seeing his expression, no, his eyes… As if he would go soon, and then, the words that he said on our last meeting…"

Mukuro turned his face to the shorter male, "Words?"

"Yeah, deep meaningful words that seemed unlike the usual Hibari-san. And his eyes… Their light was dim; I can't forget them."

"What did he say?"

He breathed deeply and blew it out. Tsuna always felt pain when he remembered Hibari's words. "He said it like this…"

Mukuro nodded his head.

"I'm sorry, Tsunayoshi, I failed."

Mukuro widened his eyes.

"I said, "Why? Hibari-san is an amazing Guardian; you always complete every mission with perfect results. Why do you say that you've failed? Then…"

"Then?"

"He shook his head when he said 'It's not about the Guardians, but me; it's me who failed.' And then, and then…"

Tsuna wiped his tears that appeared from the corner of his eyes, "and then, he smiled, the-the last words I e-ever heard from him…."

"What were they?" Mukuro felt uncomfortable.

"I always make an effort to keep, I keep something precious for me. However, that thing was gone in the end. Not by itself. I was too weak so that thing has gone easily from me. Isn't this a sign that I have failed?" Tsuna continued with sobs, "and he went without turning his face to me. At first, I didn't understand those sentences. I would be really surprised if they had a connection with his condition now…"

Mukuro's finger wiped Tsuna's flowing tears. He knew that Tsuna couldn't prove it.

"Thank you," Tsuna responded, smiling sheepishly.

"He is strong. I promise he is okay now. I guarantee it." Mukuro entertained him. But, it was only on the surface.

"You are worried about him too, aren't you? Don't lie to yourself."

"Oya oya? Hyper Intuition is really unbeatable!" he teased, "I believe, very much, that Kyouya is okay!"

* * *

The wind blew harshly, entering the room. Hibari didn't care about the cold. Or perhaps, he didn't care about anything…

"Kyouya, did you open the shoji widely!? The wind is starting to enter the house!" Mukuro said, half screaming when he entered the room where Hibari sat.

No answer. Mukuro scratched his head. He saw Hibari who sat leaning against the side of wall. He faced the yard in front of his shoji. Mukuro didn't have any idea about the sitting man's expression.

"Kyouya, if you settle down like that, you will get ill! Then-"

"Shut up."

"But Kyou-"

"Don't get any closer."

"The doctor said that your immune system is weaker than before. So I-"

"Leave me alone or I'll bite you to death."

Folding his arms, Mukuro became annoyed with Hibari's carefree attitude. His sentences were always cut by those rough words. Although, he was really worried about his health.

"I'm worried about your health, you know!? At least, care about it! If you get ill-" his words were cut off once more. Not by words like before, but by a metal object. This object was launched quickly towards him. The Mist Guardian evaded skillfully, though his cheek was scratched by it.

DUAKK!!

A tonfa hit the wall behind Mukuro, followed by the sound of it falling.

"That's dangerous, Kyouya!" Mukuro's eyes widened because of his fear.

"Will I get ill?" Hibari turned slightly. Even though Mukuro saw his grey eyes often, he felt horrible. Those cold, sharp, grey eyes. The glare was different from usual.

"This body is mine. So, why do you worry about it? If I get ill, what will you do? Cure me? Bring me to the doctor once more? Stop it. It's useless."

Mukuro was surprised because of what he heard. His face was depressed. Hibari speaking with a cold tone is common. But, now…

"If you say so, I'm sorry…" Mukuro said as he left the room.

"You think I don't know? Stupid Pineapple."

* * *

"Kyouya?"

"What's wrong, Mukuro?" Tsuna asked.

The blue haired illusionist's eyes widened as he saw the person who passed them, "Kyou…ya?"

"Do-do you mean Hibari-san?" Tsuna couldn't believe what he had just heard, "Where is he?"

Not wasting time, Mukuro ran to chase the man. Hibari's strides were fast enough so that the distance between them was very far. Curiousity, nervousness, and worry mixed in Mukuro's chest. He had to determine it by himself.

"Mu-Mukuro! Wait for me!" Tsuna screamed. He panted while he chased Mukuro, who had disappeared from Tsuna's sight. It was uncertain if Mukuro had seen Hibari just now.

"Mukuro…."

* * *

Those mismatched eyes glanced at a building. A café which had just been opened by the employees. Maybe an hour ago.

"So, you are here?" he whispered.

And his eyes caught that presence. Hibari sat near the window of café. Mukuro believed he was Hibari. He walked up to the café and entered it.

"Irrasshaimase!" an employee greeted him when the little bell at the entrance rang. Mukuro searched for Hibari again. Successful with his search, he approached him. The black suited man was sipping his order of coffee.

"Kyouya…?"

He realized he was being watched by someone, and turned to stare, upset, at Mukuro. "Hm? Yes?"

Mukuro's face became pale, "Kyo-Kyouya? You're Kyouya…."

"Sumimasen, have we meet somewhere before? I think it's impolite if you speak to me without my surname at our first meeting," Hibari answered innocently.

His face became paler. His lips trembled, and he didn't know what he should say.

"Err… After all, how did you know my name?" the black haired man asked.

He could feel heat in his eyes. Couldn't believe, didn't want to believe what he had just heard. The words slid from Hibari's mouth.

"Kyouya!" Mukuro shook Hibari's body. He was swallowed up by his own emotion. An emotion called sorrow.

"A-ano…" an upset expression showed on Hibari's face.

"Kyouya!! Stop it, stop all of your nonsense! I beg you, stop it!" the shaking became harsher.

Even though there were only a few customers at the café, Mukuro ignored his loud voice. They just watched from their seats. Hibari felt uncomfortable from the glances of people while Mukuro still shouted at him. Mukuro couldn't prove it, and he didn't want to accept Hibari's statement. What he wanted to accept was only the truth.

Hibari was reaching his limit of patience. A man who he just met begged him to stop an unknown thing. He stood up from his seat and paid the cashier by throwing his money at him. Hibari said 'Thank you' before reaching the exit, ignoring the pineapple headed man behind him.

"I won't let you do it again!" Mukuro mumbled.

Mukuro didn't stay at the cafe. He chased after Hibari again. The annoyed Cloud Guardian was grumbling by himself on the road. Without warning, Mukuro pushed the body in front of him and pinned it down. His hands held both of Hibari's wrists until Hibari couldn't move. His body was totally restrained by Mukuro. He could only struggle as hard as he could.

"Kyouya…" Mukuro spoke, "don't you remember….me?"

"I really don't know you!" Hibari replied, half screaming.

"Don't lie to me."

"I am not."

"You are," The illusionist continued, "I am Rokudou Mukuro, the person you want to bite to death the most. That's impossible if you forget about it, Kyouya."

"Rokudou….Mukuro?" Hibari asked.

Mukuro nodded.

"Hold on…. I remember I had a partner named Rokudou..."

"Who is he?" Mukuro raised his eyebrow.

"It was a long time ago. I don't remember his face anymore because he disappeared mysteriously. At least, he was more polite than you."

Now, Mukuro's arms trembled. There were no lies in his words. It made things more confusing.

"And I'm new in this town. Are you satisfied?"

Silence was his answer. Hibari sighed.

"Can I go now?"

* * *

"Mukuro, are you okay?" Tsuna finally found his Mist Guardian.

Mukuro sat leaning against the wall and just nodded. His hand still covered his view. Everything was too hard to be understood. He knew Hibari. Most. However, Hibari himself didn't know him. Or was that the truth?

"Where is Hibari-san?"

_I really don't know you!_

_

* * *

_

**A/N:**

Kanashimi no wa kasanete

Anata no te anata no koe  
Anata no zanzou (omokage) wo motometemo  
Tooi tobira (DOA) wa hiraku koto naku  
Toikaketa inochi no imi  
Munashiku ano sora ni kodamashite hibiku dake

Eien no Yume

Me wo samasu sono shunkan  
Futatabi ugokidasu yuugi kara  
Nogareru koto yurusareta nara  
Tada hitori yume ni mayoi  
Darenimo aisarezu yami no naka kuchiru dake sore wa rakuen?

Nagareyuku toki wo koete  
Ikudo to naku tsurugi majiete mo  
Nozomu asa wa kuruno deshouka?  
Kaserareta inochi no imi  
Mizukara no sonzai soredake ga akashi nano

Utsurou wa utsusemi no kage

The lyric above is from Utsusemi no Kage, Rozen Maiden Ouverture ED. I don't know why, this part of lyric inspired me to write this fic.

* * *

**Glossary:**

- **Shoji:** A Japanese's traditional slide door.

- **Irrashaimase:** A Japanese's welcome greet at restaurant or cafe.

- **Sumimasen:** Sorry. You can mean it as 'I'm sorry' too, like 'gomenasai'.


	2. 2nd shard: Your Own Feeling?

Pairing: 6918, slight 6927 and 6996

Rate: T

Warning: AU, OOC, confusing idea, flash back, slight bad mouth, kiss O.o!

Note: If you want to imagine Hibari's home in this fic, it looks like Funbari Onsen Inn in Shaman King series :D

I love home types like this to the extreme! XD

Disclaimer: KHR and its characters belong to Amano Akira, so it's not mine!

* * *

2nd Shard: Your Own Feeling?

-Hey, just a little longer, I just want you to listen a little longer. Hey, just a little longer, I just want to be selfish a little longer-

* * *

"What's your problem with that room?"

Mukuro was frightened when he was holding the door's knob. The only door he hadn't touched in this house yet. The door of a locked room.

"I-I just seek my trident," Mukuro answered nervously. It was natural because Hibari's voice was suddenly heard.

Hibari sighed deeply. "Why didn't you look for it yesterday!? You know that you're not living in this place anymore, tonight!"

"You approved me last night!"

"Approved? I don't know if it was called 'approved'," the Cloud Guardian raised his eyebrow.

"You're jealous, Kyouya, aren't you?" Mukuro teased the man in front of him as he suppressed his laughs.

"Jealous? That's an herbivore's attitude. I would waste my time if I was jealous of you. How unlucky people who live with you later will be…" Hibari said as he turned his body back.

"You are one of those unlucky ones!"

"Is that so?" Hibari asked, looking slightly to Mukuro.

Mukuro felt uncomfortable as he saw Hibari's act just now. "Are you…angry?"

"The sunset will become clearer and more beautiful if I watch it from that room."

"Ehh?"

"Never mind. That's unimportant." A smirk graced the lips of the Disciplinary Committee ex-President.

"Kyouya."

"What?"

"You don't have any problems with your health anymore?"

"You underestimate me?"

"Cause you're alone…"

"You don't need to worry about me. It's useless. If you want, worry for that clumsy Tsunayoshi."

Mukuro couldn't speak more.

"If I find your trident, I will give it to you by myself."

* * *

Mukuro awoke from his sleep and he wiped sweat off his face. The dream he had gotten just now. The last conversation with Hibari on that day. A month ago. After that, Mukuro never felt Hibari's presence anymore.

"Hmm… What's wrong, Mukuro? It's 02.00 am now…" Tsuna's voice surprised him. He was yawning.

The pineapple head realized that he was in Tsuna's room, not Hibari's. He slapped his own forehead. Since three days ago, Hibari always haunted his mind. Mukuro didn't blame Hibari. However, that dream really hurt him. He wanted, the most, to meet Hibari. Not for the second, third, or last time.

"I only had a nightmare. Back to sleep. We will look for Kyouya once more tomorrow, won't we? So, you must sleep enough." Mukuro said, smirking.

"Yeah, you're right!"

* * *

"Nah, has everybody gathered?" the Vongola Decimo asked all of his Guardians.

"Pardon me for my impolite act, Juudaime, but, has this person," Gokudera pointed to Mukuro, "really found that bastard?"

"Mukuro saw and talked to him, Gokudera-kun" Tsuna explained to his Storm Guardian.

"Maa, maa, so, we must find out about Hibari, right?" Yamamoto added with his familiar grin.

"And we need to interrogate him about where he went," Ryohei added too.

"Correct," Tsuna agreed, "and Onii-san, we don't need to interrogate him. We just prove him that he is the real Hibari-san. But, it's okay."

"Juudaime."

"I know. We separate from here. Whoever finds him must contact the others. Understand?"

"Roger!" all of them responded, except Mukuro.

* * *

"Yuurei."

"Hah!?" Mukuro was surprised by Hibari's statement.

"Do you believe in their presence?" Hibari asked.

The blue haired male didn't know how to answer.

"Forget it," he continued.

"N-no! This is a really unusual question from your mouth! I think..." Mukuro scratched his hair.

"How about a while death?"

"I think the answer is the same."

Hibari sighed. He didn't feel satisfied by his partner's answer.

"Some people said the yuurei existed because they still had a purpose in this world. Are they still had feeling?"

Mukuro frowned. Since when Hibari been interested in occult subjects?

"They still remember their beloved people, don't they? Though they don't live in the same world?"

"Kyouya."

"They still hold their own feelings although they know what will happen next?"

"Kyouya!"

"Huh! I'm sorry for speaking about a useless subject."

"You're speaking what!?" Mukuro asked with anxiety, "You say your words as if you will disappear from this world tomorrow!"

"Hey, I don't have anyone around me. If I were to die, I don't need to be charged with tears from people who are crying about my death."

Those words stabbed Mukuro's chest when he heard them. Hibari was a lonely wolf. He was always alone without people around him. He doesn't have anyone. Weird, why is his chest hurting like this? Hibari was always being indifferent with him, except with the 'biting to death' business.

"Mukuro," he said again, "you love Tsunayoshi, right? Then, why do you continue the relationship between us?"

"Cause this house too large for you" Mukuro lied.

"That's not the answer I want to hear."

His lie was revealed. Now, he thought hard about the reason while Hibari glanced him as if he was saying, 'you're an idiot if you already forgot your own statement'.

"You never forgot my vow that time? A vow that I'll kill you."

"I'll never forget it."

"I don't want to be a pebble in your way. And remember, we don't have a clear basis to bind us to each other."

_Basis?_

"You want to say that we're …"

"You're free."

Mukuro bowed his head, dwelling on Hibari's words. _Basis. Free_.

"There is a relationship because it has a basis, like a building. Meanwhile, our relationship was built because of a vague one. So, why must we continue this relationship?"

"We'll…break?"

"I never said you're my lover."

"You lie to yourself." Mukuro stated.

"Maybe…" Hibari answered briefly. _At least it's better than lying to another person, like you_.

There was an awkward pause between them. The conversation felt so heavy. Hibari's answer was really annoying him and it was disturbing his heart.

"From now on, wherever you want to go, I don't care anymore," Hibari added.

The Mist Guardian just looked at Hibari who was pulling up the blankets, preparing to sleep. _He wants to make this night to be their last night?_ He thought.

"Kyouya?" Mukuro called him.

The messy black haired Guardian didn't respond. He had already drifted into sleep. He slept without facing Mukuro. It wasn't a problem anyway.

Mukuro smiled. He glanced at the ceiling of the room after laying himself against the futon, trying to understand the conversation with the sleeping man beside him just now.

"Basis? Is that important?"

* * *

"Mukuro-sama."

"Yeah, my dear Chrome?"

"Mukuro-sama really saw Hibari-san?" asked Chrome.

"Yeah, my dear Chrome." Mukuro repeated himself plainly as an answer.

"I believe you felt so glad when you met him!" she said happily.

"Chrome, sometimes, we never feel happy when we know the truth," the illusionist replied. "A truth more bitter than we ever imagined it."

The face of that girl became sour as she got her answer, "How are your own feelings, Mukuro-sama?"

"Feeling?"

"Feeling in your heart. The deepest feeling that fills your heart at the moment when you met him," the female Mist Guardian explained her words before.

"I am…"

"Mukuro-sama! This is Hibari-san's home, right?" Chrome pointed at a home while Mukuro still in his mind. It was an empty home to be exact.

"Home of Kyouya…." Mukuro whispered as he glanced at that home.

The Cloud Guardian's home. A home that belonged to him before Mukuro lived there. This home was feeling so warm even though just two of them lived there until a month ago, before Mukuro moved to Sawada's residence.

_If I find your trident, I will give it to you by myself._

"Kyouya promised me that he will give me my lost trident by himself. Until now, he hasn't given it to me yet," Mukuro said the promise.

"Because of that Mukuro-sama didn't bring the trident?"

Mukuro nodded. Chrome smiled again. However, as quickly as the 'shadow' on the end of street showed itself, Chrome's smile faded away.

"Mu-Mukuro-sama!" that girl pulled the sleeve of Mukuro's mantle.

"What's wrong?"

"Tha-that! That is Hibari-san, over there!" Chrome pointed to the spot.

He narrowed his eyes to the direction Chrome's index finger was pointing before he widened them. _Kyouya?_

"Chrome! You wait here and contact the others while I'm chasing after him!" he commanded as he ran fast.

"Y-yes!" she nodded.

* * *

"Mukuro," Hibari called.

"Yes, Kyouya?" Mukuro replied quickly.

"After you get out of this place, be honest about your own feelings," he continued as he walked away from the ponytailed man behind him.

"Are you alright? Or did you collide with something?"

"I'm alright, idiot, and my order for your goodness."

"Order?"

* * *

Hibari turned to face a man who was calling his name. "Oh, Rokudou-san."

"Kyouya….." Mukuro was still panting after running the distance of one kilometer.

"Rokudou-san, are you al --!" Hibari didn't finish his sentence when Mukuro, again, pinned his body against the wall while his hand held the black haired man's wrists.

"Rokudou-san!"

"Mukuro," Mukuro said with an exhausted tone and deep glare. "Call me Mukuro!"

"O-okay, but, can you not pin-" Mukuro's lips were already locked onto Hibari's. Hibari failed to speak.

Mukuro just wanted to be honest with his own feelings, like Hibari said that time. He just confessed his feelings. Only by that kiss he could be an honest person, at least, in front of Hibari. A warm kiss he usually gave Hibari only when they lived together. Even Tsuna himself never felt this one.

"Hnn!" Hibari struggled but Mukuro's hand restrained him more strongly.

Mukuro deepened his kiss so he could slip his tongue into Hibari's mouth and explored it. Hibari couldn't prevent it. He could only give up, moaning because of the illusionist's actions in his mouth. He grasped the backside of Mukuro's mantle.

After a few minutes, Mukuro finally broke his kiss. Both of them panted badly. As if that kiss was his first one, Hibari attempted to arrange his disordered breath.

PLAK!!

A slap landed smoothly on the cheek of the blue haired Guardian. He rubbed his hurt cheek. He was already expecting it, but he didn't think it would hurt like hell.

"Kyouya…." The Mist Guardian stared at Hibari's red face, because of both anger and embarrassment. Hibari was biting his own bottom lip.

"What the hell do you want from me!? You're lucky this street is quiet! You still kiss me even though our location is such a crowded place!?" Hibari grumbled as he wiped saliva from the corners of his lips.

Sighing, Mukuro closed his eyes, and then he hugged the grumbling man tightly.

"Roku, eh, Mu-Mukuro!" Hibari felt nervous from Mukuro's sudden change in attitude.

"What I want from you," he started, "is you. Don't lie to yourself. You said we must be honest to ourselves."

"Ano, Mukuro," Hibari's face reddened more than before.

"I beg you, come back, Kyouya. I was wrong. Your 'order' had made me realize. Forgive me, Kyouya…" he said weakly as he put his own forehead against the shorter male's one. "Nah, let's go home, I will accompany you once more, so you don't need to be tormented by your loneliness."

Hibari was speechless. He couldn't stare back at Mukuro. After a while of silence, he pushed Mukuro away so he could be released from that man's hug.

"Do you…refuse my offer?" Mukuro asked. He hoped they weren't 'I refuse it' words.

Now Hibari glanced back. But, his stare was really different. From innocent to serious.

"Sunset."

_After you get out of this place, be honest about your own feelings_.

* * *

**A/N:**

Ne mou sukoshi dake

mou sukoshi dake kiiteite hoshii

Ne mou sukoshi dake

mou sukoshi dake waganama ii desuka

Te ni ireta totan ni kieteshimai sou

Kotoba O kuremasenka

Itsunomanika hanareteita

Te O tsunaide aruiteku

The lyric is from Aishiteru, Zoku Natsume Yuujinchou ED theme. When I was typing this fic, I think some part of it really suitable (maybe) with Mukuro's condition, so I added the first two and used the translation as prologue words after the title.

Oya oya, special thanks for **TehSpookyWaffle**, **Citrus Sunscreen**, **Kamikaze-Rein** and **Anne**, I will try better than before! XD

* * *

**-Yuurei: **Faint soul/spirit, departed spirit.

**-A while death:** A condition where someone never wakes up from his sleep. He doesn't breath and his heart stop pounding. The pulse was stopping too. That person seemed like he was dead. But, after a few days, he will get up from his 'sleep' and if you ask him what happened with him, he just reply that he was wandering a world where a lot of soul (and angels or devils) were sauntering (and realizing your presence then chasing for you). But, the story will be different, according to each people.


End file.
